Quitting and other fantasies...

Ok, so if and when I ever procreate and then am *blessed* with a child, someone please make sure I never act like most parents on this god-forsaken planet. Let me explain...

In my day job, I enjoy teaching dance to young minds and really love doing it. The parents...not so much! In classes, I give out ballet vitamins (or tap vitamins, or hip hop vitamins...) Kids know that these are for fun--they're gummy bears or skittles etc. We just had an irate mother pull her three-year-old because she didn't like the idea of gummies given out. If she could have sounded like more of an idiot, I would be surprised.

I guess the joys of stay-at-home motherhood actually turn most women into raving lunatics who foam at the mouth for any kind of human contact. Then when said contact actually occurs, they must make sure that they bitch about any and all things that are beyond their control. We had one who didn't like the tone of voice that was used when someone addressed her. I believe it was "welcome to dance" that she didn't enjoy.

So, if and when I ever get the chance to be a mom--someone shoot me when I start to act like a MOTHER.