Performing the Heimlich on life.

After this very long and stressful weekend ended, my body shut down on Sunday. I'm not talking exhausted--I'm talking so tired you could hallucinate with a side of unbelievable strep throat. I've never actually had my throat close, but with the size of my tonsils right now--I'm pretty sure you could bowl with them. And as no good deed goes unpunished--I have to get back on the horse today. I literally can't swallow. Which means no eating.
I've missed eating.
I can't swallow because of the pain--something I've taken for granted for apparently my entire life. Which leads me to wonder what else I've been blissfully unaware of in my pain-free life. Let's see what I've learned in the last year:
1. The plantar fascia on the bottom of your foot is a very important muscle. You won't ever miss it until you tear it in half. Then it won't ever heal until you have surgery. And by surgery they mean no driving or walking for four weeks.
2. The deltoid muscle in your shoulder is also important. Tear that and you won't be moving your head, arm or back for a while.
3. Physical therapy is a really long process. I always thought it sounded fun. I was wrong.
4. Apparently, eyebrows don't grow back very fast. Don't ask. I had four for a while. Nothing a black sharpie can't fix.

So, I'll be waiting for my throat to open up again. I picture Lucy in her cardboard box with the sign saying The Throat is In. 5 cents.

Oh, one more thing, RIP Captain America--you stood for truth, justice and the american way. Your wholesome-ness will be missed.

The end of a rather short era

Well, it's official. I am no longer the head of pagination and all things ridiculous at the paper. The editor is retiring--officially on April 1. There goes the neighborhood, so to speak. They want me to stay on to write and continue to paginate--"they" being the despots in charge, but frankly, I'm not sure how much more I could take of the shrew who answers the phone anyway. So, I may write--but my tenure as pagination head--like my self-entitlement--ends on the 30th of March. It's on to bigger and more challenging things--if by more challenging, you mean sitting and watching LOST marathons.

3/11/07--I've edited the rest of the post because I was angry and said some things that could possibly get me in trouble. So, until I don't care anymore about the job--I'll keep my nastiness to myself. Here comes that LOST marathon!